A Divorce Lawyer’s Plea to Mothers
Mothers, PLEASE do not raise a spoiled, entitled, pampered, undisciplined, whiny, petulant, controlling son! Because, when he grows up, he is just going to have to deal with me.
I have encountered a string of adult spoiled brats. They tell their wives what she is going to do, use various forms of coercion and blackmail, sometimes act out physically, and never worry about the wife’s needs. They often drift from job to job, but even when they are hard workers on the job, they tend to be insecure and controlling at home.
They sense that they are not good husbands, so they try to limit their wives’ friends and contacts, and limit their aspirations, so they will be dependent on them. One lady lost almost 100 lb., but when friends, especially male friends, and co-workers, noticed, his insecurity broke up the marriage.
IF you raise a confident, mature, trusting son, he will want an independent, mature, confident, wife. And remember, she will be your daughter in law!
In a nutshell:
1. Don’t be afraid to discipline and set limits. My wife and I were not afraid of corporal punishment, and we will hold up our children as examples of mature adults. But, discipline need not be physical. It needs to be consistent and firm.
2. Don’t be afraid to demand a strong effort and commitment to school, church if that’s your thing, and other activities.
3. In sports, school clubs, youth groups, and music, do not let them quit! Make them finish out the school year, and do not be one of “those parents” with your son’s coaches and teachers. You cannot shield your child from be hurt, emotional or physical. Do not overreact when they encounter hardship. Teach them to endure and overcome.
4. Don’t overwhelm them, but keep them active in the 4-H club, church youth fellowships, organized sports, and extra-curricular activities. I would have said Boy Scouts, but that organization has so botched its transition to the acceptance of gays that it currently does not deserve to be a youth organization. That will change.
5. Encourage your son to read, read, read. Hope he has a fire inside to read, but if not, require it, and do everything you can to have him in a school that does so and that teaches him language skills. Guide him towards interests that will help him be a well-educated, capable, adult. Foster curiosity.
You get the point. Do NOT be like the Mother who testified recently in a losing cause on behalf of her son in family court, “I never made my sons clean up their rooms or do anything around our house.”
Lady, you got exactly the son you deserve.
This post was written by Burton Hunter